NAVIGATION.

@bornpariah    /    starter   call !

 it   was   beautiful   in   the   emerald   graves .   all   vibrant   shades ,   &   an   endless   sea   of   pure   verdant   life .   there   were   trees   she   could   scarcely   see   the   top   of   as   if   they   were   taller   than   the   highest   tower   at   skyhold ,   as   if   they   were   stretching   all   the   way   up   to   the   sun   they   shaded   the   rest   of   them   from .   in   between   the   cruel   sounds   of   human   war ,   she   could   hear   birds,   the   far   off   rush   of   a   waterfall .

 that   was   all   outside ,   of   course .

 inside   the   chateau   d’onterre ,   it   is   cold   &   dim   &   silent   except   for   their   breathing ,   their   shoes   against   the   smooth   stone   floor .   it’s   almost   lifeless ;   but   she   has   the   horrid   sensation   that   they’re   being   watched   nonetheless ,   a   chill   making   it’s   way   up   the   length   of   her   spine .   she   can   feel   an   unsteady   thrum   of   magic   hanging   heavy   in   the   air   around   them ,   like   a   thick   invisible   fog .

 there   is   a   body   at   their   feet ,   repulsive ,   half   rotted ,   but   it   had   been   full   of   enough   residual   life   to   attack   them ,   shuffling   towards   them   in   it’s   awful   way .   but   it’s   dead   now .   or   dead   still ,   she   supposes .   between   that ,   &   cole’s   dreadfully   ominous   it   knows   we’re   here ,   mislyn   wishes   she   would   learn   to   leave   well   enough   alone .

 ❛ dorian ,   what   is   this ? ❜

dorian‌ .

Knowledge of the sake of knowledge had been his creed since he was a young boy and it remains true to this day —— to achieve true understanding of this world as it is you must pursue the truths hidden in the shadows and lost to time. The knowledge of that laid in that elvhen temple is knowledge that may have never seen the revealing light of day had it not been for their interference ( and, foremost, corypheus’s interference ) and in many ways he is thankful and in more ways he finds himself CONCERNED.

For her ( when she had waded into that well and drank its knowledge and he is well accustomed to the idea of losing people after all this time but he had still been seized by abrupt FEAR at the mere thought ) and for his homeland. Foolish, he supposes : to worry what the truth might do to them. That revealing that their greatest pride is, in fact, a fabrication. Their culture, their life, is truly adapted with only the finest grains of truth.

❝ A lot may be an understatement, ❞ it had been the sort of knowledge which turns the entirety of society upon its head : straight from the mouth of an ancient elf. Thinking about it, the whole of what happened, seems to FANTASTICAL that it hardly seems real. Then again, that simply lends credence to the reality of it all, doesn’t it? ❝ That there are still living ancient elves is the discovery of the Age alone. Not to mention that what we were told undoes quite a bit of history. ❞ A pause and he tilts his head and, ❝ Does it bother you? What Abelas said? ❞

 ❛ bother   may   be   an   understatement . ❜      she   echos   him ,   laughs .   or   rather ,   she   tries   to   laugh   &   only   ends   up   sighing ,   a   grimace   warping   her   face   into   something   harsh   &   altogether   unpleasant .   she   remembers   the   markings   on   abelas’s   face   ( just   like   her’s ! ) ,   &   the   tone   of   his   voice   when   he   called   her   a   shadow .   how   her   heart   felt   like   it   was   soaring   &   trapped   in   her   throat   all   at   once .

 we   warred   upon   ourselves .   it’s   a   strange   thing ,   how   brief   a   sentence   has   uprooted   all   that   they   know ,   all   that   they   have   been   taught .   &   stranger   still ,   how   there   are   things   it   does   not   change   at   all .   that   temple’s   ancient   knowledge   changes   nothing   for   any   elf   half   starved   in   an   alienage ,   or   for   any   clan   driven   away   by   a   mob   of   angry   shemlen .   whatever   end   they   brought   themselves   then   doesn’t   justify   the   horrors   they   face   now ,   but   still —

 ❛ yes .   of   course   it   does . ❜      there   is   an   almost   constant   sharpness   to   her   gaze ,   an   unwavering   fury .   but   now ,   in   this   light ,   they   are   almost   sad .   more   tired   than   angry .      ❛ is   it   terribly   selfish   of   me   to   say   i   wish   that   we   never   had   to   go   there ?   that   we   never   found   out ? ❜      because   she   knows   it   cannot   be   kept   a   secret ,   even   if   she   wanted   it   to   be —   but   she   doesn’t .   mislyn   has   never   been   one   to   shy   away   from   hard   truths ,   &   even   this   is   no   exception .   it’s   a   keeper’s   job   to   remember .   she   is   only   worried   what   shape   this   truth   will   be   twisted   into ,   what   story   it   will   be   mangled   to   fit .   she   knows   it   is   easier   to   be   angry   &   righteous   than   it   is   to   be   wrong .

dorian‌ .

❝ It’s worth quite a bit, ❞ an easy admittance accompanied by an easy tone. His honesty has always been disarming in some regards —— for a man who has been running all his life, he has always embraced essential truths. What point is there in scaling walls, when you can simply meet them head on and accept them. In some ways, his return and his hope and his DAMNED OPTIMISM are an essential truth. Another one is this : ❝ You inspired me, Mislyn. Challenged me to see what I’ve been blind to my entire life, ❞ and for that he is eternally grateful. He had never thought ( never would have imagined ) that the south would have changed him for the better, and yet —— it has !! Strange, isn’t it? That he would have kept running indefinitely if it weren’t for her? For them?

 ❛ ah .   well ,   yes .   you — ❜      you’re   welcome ?   no ,   not   that .   that’s   not   right ,   but   she’s   finding   herself   rather   hung   up   on   it .   inspired.   mislyn   has   heard   that   quite   a   bit   in   recent   months ,   but   there   is   a   difference   between   this   &   the   sort   of   inspiration   she   sees   in   the   eyes   of   those   who   made   it   out   of   haven .   it   is   probably   selfish   that   this   means   more ,   but   the   latter   has   always   seemed   unbearably   hollow ,   sprouted   from   falsehoods   &   misplaced   faith .   it   wasn’t   about   her   in   the   way   dorian’s   earnest   voice   is   &   again ,   mislyn   finds   herself   glancing   down   at   her   hands .      ❛ i   think   you   would   have   seen   it   eventually .   your   eyes   were   already   open ,   dorian,   you   were   just …   looking   in   the   wrong   place ,   i   suppose . ❜

dorian‌ .

He IS foolish —— a concept that he may not like, but his self awareness has always been far too high to see things otherwise. It is a fact : the sky is blue / and he is a fool. Dorian is a foolish man with foolish ideals and foolish plans for a country which has turned itself into a cesspit, generation by generation / age by age / inch by inch. Yet so much of his young adulthood was spent speaking of ways to make it better and yet he ran and yet he’s here and yet who will he be, if he doesn’t try to CHANGE THINGS? A coward. Worse than that, perhaps.❝ At worst, I’ll be slaughtered like every other revolutionary. At best, I’ll leave behind a foundation that can be built upon. But something will change. I’ll make sure of it. ❞ A pause, and he laughs : humorless. ❝ I sound like an optimist. ❞

❛ you   are   an   optimist . ❜      there   is   something   that   sounds   like   a   smile   around   the   words ,   even   if   her   expression   stays   the   same .   he   is   learning   in   a   way   most   people   refuse   to ,   he   is   looking   to   his   home ,   to   the   future   &   hoping   that   it   is   better —   that   he   will   make   it   better .   mislyn   is   almost   envious .   she   thinks   of   elgar’nan's   father ,   who   once   burned   the   world   to   nothing   in   a   fit   of   fury .   always ,   there   is   a   small   raging   piece   of   her   that   wants   to   do   the   same ,   to   feel   the   ashes   slip   through   her   fingers .   for   now   she   keeps   it   locked   in   her   chest   &   thinks   instead   of   elgar’nan   nearly   tearing   the   sun   from   the   very   sky   in   his   vengeance ,   of   mythal’s   mercy .   the   hardness   of   her   eyes   gives   way   to   something   kinder .      ❛ i   can’t   say   that   i   agree ,   exactly ,   but   i …   hope   that   you’re   right .   for   whatever   it’s   worth . ❜

dorian‌ .

The humidity of the Arbor Wilds clings to him even after they had long since left it behind and the warmth was appreciated as much as the setting itself ( not to mention the occurrences ) were not. Or perhaps that is a mere figment of his imagination and the supplementation of his magic to maintain that warm ambiance within the walls of Skyhold and it is far better than the pervasive chill of the mountain air. He considers and imagines and ponders and thinks and he knows where his thoughts will and before they do and the answer that dwells beneath the surface is one that he dreads as much as he covets.

And there is her : the Inquisitor, and he feels that familiar stirring of concern within him at the sight of her. It’s an automatic reaction, these days. To worry after her, to wish for her safety —— that is the price of CLOSENESS and that is the price of FRIENDSHIP in the midst of war wherein living is not guaranteed and that is something they have long since accepted.

She is near and he dwells on what happened at the temple and what happened in the space in between and his concern lays heavy over his chest, compressing his rib cage from above / while the weight of his decisions presses from below and begs to break free. He doesn’t let them, for the time being. There are more important things to discuss. ❝ ——— Are you alright, Mislyn? After everything that happened at the temple? ❞

@skysaved // oop

 it’s   a   question   mislyn   doesn’t   truly   have   an   answer   for .   it’s   almost   instinct   to   make   one   up   for   him   anyways ,   to   say   whatever   will   take   that   worry   out   from   behind   his   eyes .   but   she   has   a   strong   feeling   that   won’t   work ,   &   he’ll   only   end   up   worrying   more .   so   she   sighs   &   sits ,   gathers   herself .   brushes   her   fingers   over   the   bridge   of   her   nose ,   but   it   brings   her   no   comfort .

 there   was   no   preparing   for   what   happened   at   the   temple .   it   would   have   been   easier   if   it   was   only   a   battle ,   if   all   she   had   to   do   was   fight .   if   mythal   answered   when   she   prayed .   mislyn   thinks   whatever   magic   was   laced   throughout   that   temple   should   have   felt   familiar ,   should   have   felt   like   it   was   a   part   of   her ,   even   if   only   a   distant   part—   it   didn’t .   it   felt   golden   &   beautiful   &   cold .   but   it’s   warm   here ,   in   this   space   dorian’s   cultivated   for   himself ,   &   the   way   his   magic   is   woven   into   the   air   is   a   welcoming   reprieve .

 ❛ i   don’t   know . ❜      she   says   finally .   it’s   the   most   honest   answer   she   can   give   him .   she   feels   a   hundred   things   at   once   &   doesn’t   have   a   name   for   most   of   them .   maybe   it’s   the   well .   it’s   wonderful ,   in   its   frightening   way ,   this   piece   of   her   history   &   her   faith   that   she   carries   with   her .   but   she   thinks   less   the   ancient   voices   curling   around   the   inside   of   her   head ,   &   more   on   the   elves .   living   &   breathing   &   you   are   not   my   people .      ❛ it   was …   a   lot ?   it   still   is   a   lot .   i   keep   think   about   what   abelas   said   about —   well .   about   everything . ❜

dorian .

❝ What’s more direct than speaking in circles with magisters? ❞ a statement which is half jest, half sincere. Perhaps his point of view is skewed —— he had been born and raised with the purpose of BECOMING a magister. He had been taught politics, the ins and outs, the pitfalls, the theories : all of it resides in his head. Not at the forefront of his thoughts, not now, but they are doubtlessly there. ❝ Besides simply killing the nay sayers, which I’m hardly above doing, ❞ his tone goes light here, mirthful, but murder is part of politics. All politics, not merely those in the Imperium. He knows how to play the game ; his voice drops to something more serious, once more. ❝ The fact is : I could never forgive myself if I didn’t TRY to save my homeland. My attempts may be in vain, true, and I may be assassinated in broad daylight, but I have to try. ❞

 an   amused   exhale   that’s   really  more   of   a   scoff —   not   at   him ,   but   at   the   thought   of   it .   mislyn   might   not   have   a   taste   for   the   inner   workings   of   politics ,   or   the   patience   to   pretend   that   she   does ,   but   that   doesn’t   mean   she   doesn’t   understand   them .   admittedly ,   she’s   as   familiar   with   tevinter   as   any   dalish   elf   wants   to   be   ( read :   they   don’t ) ,   but   she   imagines   it’s   the   same   as   anywhere   else   when   you   get   right   down   to   the   infected   core   of   it .   &   talking ,   in   her   experience ,   only   ever   does   so   much .   somethings   simply   can’t   be   saved ,   can’t   ever   be   cured   of   disease ;   sometimes   it   spreads   &   there’s   no   stopping   it   &   all   you   can   do   is   take   the   limb   clean   off .   on   this   subject ,   mislyn   thinks   him   just   a   bit   foolish .   well   meaning ,   certainly ,   but   foolish .      ❛ &   what   if   it   can’t   be ?   what   if   you   try   &   try ,   but   nothing   changes ? ❜

dorian‌ .

It is a barely suppressed instinct not to respond to her sharp words —— they are warranted, as he has come to learn, and he must allow her to express her anger. An anger that is owed, and not one that he has the right to talk down or attempt to deflect. He was WRONG and he has accepted that and he is here to apologize, not to defend himself. The not quite smile on her face gentles something that had gone rigid in his chest and some of the tenseness leaks from his face. ❝ You’re right. My countrymen will likely remain stubbornly ignorant in regards to this, ❞ after all, he had remained blind for so long, and willfully so at certain points. Willfully so, in the face of the south. Dorian is a product of his country and upbringing, yet if he could be brought into the light then others must be able to. They must. ❝ But I will have to try to make them see otherwise. ❞

 the   expression   on   her   face   shifts   again ;   tentative  curiosity   this   time .   there’s   a   skeptical   note   to   her   voice   when   she   speaks .      ❛ why ?   there   are   better   things   you   could   be   doing ,   surely .   more   productive . ❜      it   seems   a   rather   pointless   endeavor ,   in   so   far   as   she’s   concerned .   an   uphill   battle   he   won’t   be   able   to   win .   but   mislyn   supposes   she   already   knows   they   why   of   it .   she   understands ,   or   she   thinks   she   might .   tevinter ,   for   all   it’s   glaring   faults ,   would   always   be   his   home .   for   her ,   home   had   never   been   a   place ,   there’s   no   land   that   she   would   call   her   own   ( except   perhaps   skyhold ?   it’s   an   odd   thought ) .   but   she’s   knows   something   of   wanting   to   hold   tightly   to   legacy ,   to   history .      ❛ i   only   mean   there   are   surely   ways   you   could   affect   things   more   directly   than   talking   in   circles   with   the   magisters .   i   doubt   very   much   they’ll   see   the   truth   of   it .   maybe   you   only   did   because   you   left .   a   few   might   listen ,   but   that   doesn’t   mean   anything   will   change . ❜